Shoe fix

I havent bought shoes in months. I havent even considered buying shoes in months (thats a lie but its my blog so I'LL LIE IF IT MAKES ME SOUND BETTER. what of it). I'm sorry. I always get more defensive when using brackets.
Moving on!
Shoes I want. ( I need help choosing!) 
Click the pic of each shoe for the link. 
Jeffrey Campbell - 'Foxy Fab' 
Classic chunky Lita shape...with a nostalgic (although I'm Australian, so really its a rather misplaced sense of nostalgia) feel. Bright colours, attention grabbing (coz lets not lie, when you* pay over $100 for a pair of shoes YOU WANT PEOPLE TO NOTICE.) Brackets again. This shoe reminds me of Ms. Vintage Virgin's blog.  And if you dont go visit, just know I went to all the effort to link it for nothing. (NOTHINGGG). 
Jeffrey Campbell - 'Skate'
Thats right. Its like someone carved a fake ice skating shoe out of wood except you can actually put your foot in it. And consequently walk around puzzling people with your urbanized ice skate shoe. 

Jeffrey Campbell - 'Clinic'
Its like what I would wear if I was a fem-doctor in some sort of sci fi hospital in which terrible experiments were carried out in secret until some misunderstood but luckily highly intelligent hot male discovers this and unravels the entire plot ending up with all the staff dying hideous painful deaths. Admittedly I usually dont go that far into the sci fi fem-doctor fantasy.....
er. they also come in black.

*and by you I mean 'poor uni student me'...

In other unrelated news - 
In celebration of my failing my spanish course at uni this year! Woo! And by that I mean so I can have something awesome to wear while I cry and inhale copious amounts of non-nutritional food items while simultaneously being glad that I have a fast metabolism. 
Another  reason why you don't have any contact with people that mess with you incessantly while you start your first semester at uni. Remember that one ;) 

FUCK YES. Next costume party, its on.


I KNOW guys, I KNOW. It's sickening how clearly in love we are. 

braids are still on my mind.

             I learnt how to do a fishtail plait today!!! This is my first attempt after watching a youtube video on it. 

 Lately I've been feeling a weird kind of lonely - like I just want to be alone, and yet feel lonely when I am kind of thing. So I spent the whole day at home for the first time in months, cleaning out my wardrobe, learning to fishtail braid my hair, lazily studying and learning to pluck my eyebrows.

 Fishtails are actually incredibly simple to do. I also tried a purple-pink NYX lipstick, "Paris" today, but couldnt seem to capture the colour perfectly.

 Took the opportunity to take a photo of the current state of my nails - I need to fix up some chips from wearing them for 3  or so days, but I love how simple they are to do.

 A fishtail plait deserves a matching fish face, obviously

Me getting excited remembering my trip to disneyland again...and a better indication of the colour of the "Paris" lipstick. Perfect winter colour. 

keen on messy braids

perfect low maintenance hair. 

Wear what you want - and this is why.

Here's a short story about how I stopped wearing what I wanted and became a shadow of my former self. 

Its time I was honest to myself, and everyone else about something. I'm not as confident as I used to be. In the past 2 years or so, its been blow after blow and the comeback I waited for after these events never came. I've  lost alot, Ive gained a lot, but I've got alot of work to do to get myself back on my prime. The truth is, ever since I stopped dressing the way I really wanted, I've lost the part of me that says "Its okay for you to be how you are, like what you like, do what you want, look how you look". Something as simple as losing the way I dress to a host of insecurities has turned me into someone inclined to seek approval for everything - is my hair okay? is my makeup? are my clothes?

I'm going to  be honest and say that a close, we'll call him friend, is directly responsible for this. In the past, when he has disliked what I've worn, he has asked me afterwards to "never wear that again". Do people realise what message that simple phrase sends? Let me spell it out : "you looked shit in that, I was embarrassed to be around you, people think of you as unattractive".

I have pieces of clothing in my wardrobe that I had to THROW OUT because every time I LOOKED at them, I felt sick to my stomach. Just because of the way he had made me feel while I was wearing them.

After I had made it clear that he had no choice over my clothing, he agreed to stop saying anything. But did it end there? No. What began was the systematic wearing down of my willpower through subtly making me feel shit for what I wore. If I wore something "not okay", he would ignore  me, act as if I had offended him, and avoid me in public. Just from his body language, I would feel disgusting and drained after a day of this and slowly but surely, this turned into a whole other set of clothes  I no longer felt comfortable in.

Do you recognize what this is here? Clear signs of an abusive relationship. Yes, people - if a 'friend'  makes you feel shit for what you are wearing, you are taking part in an abusive relationship. If they are systematically breaking down your confidence, you are being undermined as a person, and it is very unhealthy.

I became resigned to wearing what would give me the least trouble, and was always nervous to see if it would recieve approval.

You can imagine how I felt when that person found this blog, and asked "WHO even writes a blog?!" (which is, of course, a stupid question because in this day & age - who doesnt?) and even here, which became my outlet for the clothes I really enjoyed became jeopardised.

Now, I'm attending university with that same person. I want to wear heels, because its what I personally do, everywhere.  I want to wear whatever I want - but again, I have a mental block there that creates anxiety when I think about the humiliation this person will put me through.

But here's the truth of it - I get joy out of picking my clothes, I get joy  out of wearing what I want.  I am more efficient, I am happier, I am more me in the clothes I love. And its about time I stopped being a - to put this honestly - dumb bitch, and revert to my original ways.

Remember that as much as you love someone, you cannot just lose yourself to keep them. Ever.

Consider this me going back to my roots.

comment below & tell me - has this ever happened to you? do you REALLY wear what you want every day? Why not? 

over & out, sailors xx

philadelphiagrandjury & bluejuice

These pictures were taken a few weeks ago-
my younger sister & myself, getting ready to watch Philadelphia Grand Jury & Bluejuice live.
Had no time to do anything with my hair so it just air-dryed into its usual wavy self.

I'm wearing the Chi Chi Red lipstick in 'Exhibitionist'.
                     a corset style bra top (will need to show you this later, it's sooo perdy)
                     a low cut at the sides & back sheer black singlet with press studs on it. It's a heap more sheer than it appears to be in this photo.
                      unfortunately, the only heels i packed where these brown t strap wedges, which don't go at all. Shame on myself and my poor packing skills....

Ps. Philadelphia Grand Jury are amazing live. Bluejuice is alright too. :P